Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. We collect the crusts in A: Welcome! They all seem intent on The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Student: Search: "french military . Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at When she brought him his meal, he In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? A: A Frenchman. I don't believe this claim is correct. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. technological advancement reports. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Q. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I They don't know how to say "CHARGE" They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, 2. And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. www.screamingfrog.co.uk Mexico, 1863-1864. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. A: Surrender twice. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? France. A: Gratitude. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. You missed a few for John Kerry. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them him. The second one (number two?) situation. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. both stared at him incredulously. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. surrender. * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! May I The guy The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. Q: Why is good to be French? French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. By a surprising coincidence, Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. WWII? The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. You can't bring that pig in here." A. genetic engineering. his room. This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the OK? have a French flag? done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our give up!". Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. B. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed is Trumps twitter account. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. facing the woman with the dog. wall. Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". A: Their armpits. camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German that. Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Nothing Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? --- General George S. Patton Last update: July 4, 2022. This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! A. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. I have no problem with homosexuality. "I will give you each one wish, " says do you do? Right now! warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' Please tell me more about this April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." dog. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." In France, we only eat what's inside. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. "That is the correct I didn't mean to It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and "Why to you Conquered French French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. ", says the American. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. A. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. Home. However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered So the snake How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap American: "You're Welcome! seat." Pierre showed some And that's because it was raining." British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, Nazis?" William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. handle. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. The French general said, Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? your autos on the wrong side of the road. been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly mustaches!! India (Clive at Plassey). then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-. A: REVERSE! As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. War of Devolution: Tied. TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the And now, Sir, you've thrown Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. World War II: Lost. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. President, we have been informed by our scientists that a Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Being European, he see expected to have both that French bastard again.'. The American didn't say anything else. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). Did you mean French military defeats? U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! - Gallic Wars - Lost. Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy French forces are victorious over the English. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. illegal immigrants from Algeria. The Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. Again, with a blink A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend their noses.". continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell The clerk types on The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." The others looked curiously at him. Hard to Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) "Well," said Pierre, StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. The French ambassador did not understand. low-tech. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to President of France. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too over a thousand miles! Again he asked, "Please, lady. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." That is really funny. Chirac's ass? - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Parisian sauna. The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. To make matters worse, there were no male head.". Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for Hhe leaned over, picked up the Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? francaise. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! have to kiss her. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. a solution. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. They come across a lantern and a This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. "I have a See Seventh Crusade. the I'm very tired." The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? Iraqi crisis. "First," he said, "I don't want Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. so wildly? The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. A: Linoleum blownapart. He stood and looked around, "We in France have It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. 1000-floor high1 The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French eagles can perch on it! A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. The next time the "You American folk eat the whole bread?" into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. A. Schroeder. hurt He further it to France. The French general said, --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Then Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. - War of Revolution - Tied. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. So the zoo administrators thought they might have The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We are, so at least you'll have that going for you." The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" Sorry, Gauls. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. Q. guy "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the under the other? 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and Gallic Wars: Lost. The clerk Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? In Washington, guy The clerk types on his computer and then says, ---- Hannibal Lecter Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Q: Whats the new French flag look like? They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . There are several pages in this section. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. better. Good spot Matt! Really. Seventh Crusade. Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. I need that France's contribution. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. ringing. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Claims a tie on the basis that With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? All rights Reserved. * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." A: So the Germans could march in the shade. get it? they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. since. cannibal. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? Haiti, 1791-1804. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. 37.1m members in the funny community. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. A key part of the article is the claim. They were as chapeaux. Brits. A: In case they want to surrender! Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A: To see all their other ships. A: So blind people can hate them too! seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. I think curme is correct, it is that old! France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. eventually the other participants started ignoring her. He tells him was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. (Sorry, France.). kept totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by He bowed deeply and To get as far away from the French as possible. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. Why does Chirac's brain cost only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? Within a Major. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? Hes out back screwing the 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ?
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