I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! That will be a wonderous day. And why do I even care? *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. "lower the quality"? But it's all good. I am now barophobic (afraid of gravity). SHARE. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. I don't want to play the stupid animal war card game 'cause the stupdi bear gets eaten by an eaagle.. goodbye ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd. As you can see, I was in a very interesting state of mind. She said she hurt it the first time, and wanted to put it out of it's misery, so she went back and ran over it 11 more times. Pathetic. PARTS BREAK AFTER OVERUSE!! You wanna play that way. When she came back, 'lo and behold, she had a tan. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. It's strange. But the point is, if I were, say, freakily allergic to a random mineral, I could read the ingredients and not eat the salt. For that matter, how do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. Would it vary? My point is that smoke detectors have very little value in home security. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. Ormaybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (onetwothree..*crunch*). Just make sure you "spray" your food first. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). But everything else I've said so far is true. The end is not here. Were also on Pinterest, Tumblr, and Flipboard. (Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blindor stupid) &#!#%&&!!! It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. And then the quality will rise. HA! GrrrrI had a nifty rant all planned out in my head. Even though it gains pleasure from squishing my spine. We find the free courses and audio books you need, the language lessons & educational videos you want, and plenty of enlightenment in between. consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. of toilet paper, to do everything. I asked her how you dress on the forth of july (she said nice) I asked what the colors red, white and blue were (pretty). We never spam. Advertisement. You expect far to much of the inanimate world. It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. And more than slightly embarassed. So, that leads us to the evil paranoid conspiracy I thought of the other night. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. I didn't know that they had such good technology back then. Thank you for sending me this email. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. And on to: Number Eight: I could haveuhhhhummmmmactually thought up these things before hand. We just picked random words in the selection and wrote about them. This is a list of unusually long mathematical proofs. Here is the sum total of my group's work. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. She didn't know. I can't think of anything!? Any use thereof that is not stated in the above mentioned statement would make the author, hereby referred to as Patron Saint of Paper Clips, very angry. Is anyone even reading this? Pathetic, wasn't it? I'm completly and totally addicted. It took him to my quiz page. Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. Or CRAP, for short. Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (thats me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) Well, my squirell now has an arch-enemy. So the (smallest number) + (middle number) = (largest number) The number 3, 4 and 5 satisfy this condition 3 + 4 = 5 because 3 = 3 x 3 = 9 4 = 4 x 4 = 16 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 and so . Needless to say, I felt right at home. Oh, yeah! Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. He snuck up on me one day in our room (in the game) with a sword! Good. *sniffle* Why must this be? We'd probably go crazier. I thought of another very good reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony! Hey, where are you going?! At the same time, how can you prove something IS infinite? It's not fair. Any way, that's it for now. I don't exactly know where it isoh, well. Everything is fine. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. Today, in my (Honors) English class, we did group work. Well. Sonow I am down to one and a half readers. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) As a member, you'll join us in our effort to support the arts. You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! Think about that old saying about "If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, eventually they would reproduce the entire works of Shakespear". Maybe you're lost. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. Then I do my homework. My definition of fasion includes clothes, shoes, jewelery and all things of that nature. In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. No one I know is that obsessed with earrings, it was just an example. It's just weird. Maybe fact check before coming up with such blatant lies. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. It just looks weird. What line of buisness, do you ask? hello, I like to play Fortnite it is a really good game. I founded the secret message, you ok man? If that's not a vast conspiracy, then nothing on this Earth is. So, we packed everthing up. I wonder why anyone would read this? I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! One day I was randomly looking up images via Googleand 'lo and behold, there it was. WE got it at Wal-mart. HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. It doesn't matter. Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. Haha, oops. I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotter's Club, 2001. You just let me rant on and on for you KNEW that eventually I would confuse myself with my vast puddle of knowledge. Okay, fire is loud. Since then, hundreds of authors have been inspired by the experimental writers sentence structure, including James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Samuel Beckett, and other modern literature greats. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! *nods* I thought so. I just don't know. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! Making me(The Patron Saint of Paperclips) the Ruler of the Laws of Nature! Is this getting confusing to you? None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. My dadwas on this site. 51 min ago Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Or You are What you Eat. It'd be like when you go to the bottom of the ocean, only with gravity instead of pressure*shudders* Pressure is evil, too. . May your day be shiney! Wooooo! Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. How do you know I even exist? (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). Goodbyeoh, and the fresh chicken wings might be to blame. Okay. For the love of Story. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. Now I want all you loyal fans*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. OR, maybe it's the writing. If this was quality work, I'd publish it and make a fortune. I guess I'll just have to wait untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank truck. One method is successive iterations, such as I think I hear a monkeyOkaynow I'm back. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here anduhI'lluhsend you a sandwich? Unless you're bored. No longer does school teach use reading, riting and 'rithmitic, it now teaches us ranting, raving and rambling! By the time the smoke dector goes off, the fire has drowned it out to no more than an annoying buzz. Spooky how accurate they areanyway, I command you to go! It sets a perfect example for you young, impressionable minds. I think. I'm going, you're on you're own! If they're anything like my sister, I'm movin' to Canada. I'm back, and I had yet another Asparagus War with some people. First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. Who'd thought that I could use time that many times in only a few sentences? Everyone I know who has played that game is shocked when I tell themoh, well. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) I can't remember what I was gonna rant about. OkayI can do it. there were bugs. I then copied and pasted the German and put it in the text box. Not only that, but It also displays the longest sentence used in the text and the number of characters and words in the sentences. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Don't worry, I'll go to bed soon. It's like this. I made a virtual pet for it. The entire message board was like one big insane asylum. There's salt, of course, and aluminum sulfate, and other compounds. I don't think there actually are any. May your day be shiney! I'm just basically typing nothing. It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. Parents would increase the purchase of entertainment items. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. You know the one. )And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. Make your wife happy by sending her any of these romantic long paragraphs here. I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. I don't care if I have to ride the bus home if I stop work. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. about my site, and called me weird. we had to get there one hour and fifteen minutes early because there was traffic. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. This has been a public service announcment. Confusing, huh? Here is a long equation without line number. **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! The world of literature is full of examples of sprawling monologues and multi-line descriptions, but it was American writer William Faulkner who was featured in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for his lengthy passage from his 1936 book, Absalom, Absalom! Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? Why, because they assume it's better quality. Because in some world, the video game is real. Wellthat just makes me filled with gooey happiness. Still no? Like a division of mounties made entirely out of monks. It doesn't. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? I'm gonna go hug a moose. Sometimes I crack myself up. Seeya. ONly not really. It would sneeze, then start it's eight-hour-long death hum. Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a topic. You people sicken me. Although, as I said, there's no way to prove me wrong OR right. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Fire is free. Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. I better go. But that is false! Right? We could call ourselves TACO! And lots of you are probably gloating 'cause you don't have to get up 'till 8:30. I'm back. No, we got the greatest family outing of all. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. It does all my Math for me. They're basically begging on the street. Answer me, you blobby looking freak! I think. Is that too much to ask? I was contemplating how my heavy load of books made me like a bulldozer and than I was about to suggest to my friend, "Meg" that we invent one. I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). Not only does Faulkners deep affiliation with his characters inner lives elevate his portraits far above the level of local color or regionalist curiosity, but it animates his sentences, makes them constantly move and breathe. I want SOME free time. I'm tired. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? I'm leavin', for now. It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? And now, back to our featured presentation. You're still here. Another reason why this isn't as long as Galaxy's is that I refuse to write every day as it would--this is the funny part--LOWER THE QUALITY OF MY OVERALL WORK! Then, when it's in German, or whatever, translate it back to English. It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. Where is the logic in this? Here we go! My calculator is nifty. No matter how long and twisted they get, they do not wilt, wither, or drag; they run river-like, turning around in asides, outraging themselves and doubling and tripling back. HOW, I ask you!? That makes me feel alll warm and fuzzy inside. Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? He ignored the fact that he was also a 72 year old "sanitation engineer" somewhere. If (and this is a big if) the world DOES survive, we can beg them for food, oxygen and other supplies. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. We KNEW how terrible it was, but we just didn't bother to change it. Bye! Then you'll see these cute little "days-of-the-week" earrings at the mall, and you'll just have to get a few sets, just in case you lose some. What would happen when that dreamer woke? Wal-mart TV is evil. I'm sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrongbut how? And then I'll be writing for me again. I think that they should routinly die a slow, savage, agonizing deathI was just saying a random thing that I would never, ever do.) I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. I've been obsessed with various webcomics, creating the stupidly long new Phobia Quiz and being maniacly hysterical about my site always being down due to bandwith issues. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. The height is regained at night, when you're laying down. thank you always. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". I'm so happy! Here goes. That way I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air pressure! As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. Those few who actually could think and avoided the sun were considered to be outcasts. I can't really work on this site even though I now have a more in depth understanding of variables. Okay. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemenif you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Just exactly like Father if Father had known as much about it the night before I went out there as he did the day after I came back thinking Mad impotent old man who realized at last that there must be some limit even to the capabilities of a demon for doing harm, who must have seen his situation as that of the show girl, the pony, who realizes that the principal tune she prances to comes not from horn and fiddle and drum but from a clock and calendar, must have seen himself as the old wornout cannon which realizes that it can deliver just one more fierce shot and crumble to dust in its own furious blast and recoil, who looked about upon the scene which was still within his scope and compass and saw son gone, vanished, more insuperable to him now than if the son were dead since now (if the son still lived) his name would be different and those to call him by it strangers and whatever dragons outcropping of Sutpen blood the son might sow on the body of whatever strange woman would therefore carry on the tradition, accomplish the hereditary evil and harm under another name and upon and among people who will never have heard the right one; daughter doomed to spinsterhood who had chosen spinsterhood already before there was anyone named Charles Bon since the aunt who came to succor her in bereavement and sorrow found neither but instead that calm absolutely impenetrable face between a homespun dress and sunbonnet seen before a closed door and again in a cloudy swirl of chickens while Jones was building the coffin and which she wore during the next year while the aunt lived there and the three women wove their own garments and raised their own food and cut the wood they cooked it with (excusing what help they had from Jones who lived with his granddaughter in the abandoned fishing camp with its collapsing roof and rotting porch against which the rusty scythe which Sutpen was to lend him, make him borrow to cut away the weeds from the door-and at last forced him to use though not to cut weeds, at least not vegetable weeds -would lean for two years) and wore still after the aunts indignation had swept her back to town to live on stolen garden truck and out o f anonymous baskets left on her front steps at night, the three of them, the two daughters negro and white and the aunt twelve miles away watching from her distance as the two daughters watched from theirs the old demon, the ancient varicose and despairing Faustus fling his final main now with the Creditors hand already on his shoulder, running his little country store now for his bread and meat, haggling tediously over nickels and dimes with rapacious and poverty-stricken whites and negroes, who at one time could have galloped for ten miles in any direction without crossing his own boundary, using out of his meagre stock the cheap ribbons and beads and the stale violently-colored candy with which even an old man can seduce a fifteen-year-old country girl, to ruin the granddaughter o f his partner, this Jones-this gangling malaria-ridden white man whom he had given permission fourteen years ago to squat in the abandoned fishing camp with the year-old grandchild-Jones, partner porter and clerk who at the demons command removed with his own hand (and maybe delivered too) from the showcase the candy beads and ribbons, measured the very cloth from which Judith (who had not been bereaved and did not mourn) helped the granddaughter to fashion a dress to walk past the lounging men in, the side-looking and the tongues, until her increasing belly taught her embarrassment-or perhaps fear;-Jones who before 61 had not even been allowed to approach the front of the house and who during the next four years got no nearer than the kitchen door and that only when he brought the game and fish and vegetables on which the seducer-to-bes wife and daughter (and Clytie too, the one remaining servant, negro, the one who would forbid him to pass the kitchen door with what he brought) depended on to keep life in them, but who now entered the house itself on the (quite frequent now) afternoons when the demon would suddenly curse the store empty of customers and lock the door and repair to the rear and in the same tone in which he used to address his orderly or even his house servants when he had them (and in which he doubtless ordered Jones to fetch from the showcase the ribbons and beads and candy) direct Jones to fetch the jug, the two of them (and Jones even sitting now who in the old days, the old dead Sunday afternoons of monotonous peace which they spent beneath the scuppernong arbor in the back yard, the demon lying in the hammock while Jones squatted against a post, rising from time to time to pour for the demon from the demijohn and the bucket of spring water which he had fetched from the spring more than a mile away then squatting again, chortling and chuckling and saying `Sho, Mister Tawm each time the demon paused)-the two of them drinking turn and turn about from the jug and the demon not lying down now nor even sitting but reaching after the third or second drink that old mans state of impotent and furious undefeat in which he would rise, swaying and plunging and shouting for his horse and pistols to ride single-handed into Washington and shoot Lincoln (a year or so too late here) and Sherman both, shouting, Kill them!
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