The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? A: Sha-na-na. A: The Rock of Gibralter. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. says? Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. A: Stick 'em up! . , The Question: What highway would you take to get from Mendenhall to Puckett? these envelopes, I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. (Crowd cheers) #10. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: 50 miles per hour. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. A: Skalliwags. Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. work? car? No one knows the contents of grenade? Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? A: Beethoven's Fifth. The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? A: Sex. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Function: require_once. juice? Similar Items. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? A: 2001. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. violence? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. ED: Certainly worth waiting for . 200 views, 3 upvotes. A: "Oh God!" "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. A: Flyswatter. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. a #2 mayonnaise A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. drip. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. A: Timbuktoo. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. promises. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php Next. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. A: At both ends. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. Images tagged "johnny carson". The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. Q: What do crabs get high on? questions having never In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? Hoffa. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Q: Name a Kristofferson. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune [1] share. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the A: Eight is enough. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. A: Ben Gay. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe Is that about right, sir? A: Short eyes. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? A: England, France and Greece. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? parents. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. A: A full moon Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? Box 4, Folder 46. [applause]. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Murine? A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. The crowd is hostile. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. A: Crabgrass. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. A: An unmarried woman. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp.
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